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This year marks a ten-year milestone since the phrase “ghosting” hit the common lexicon. Initially, the concept that someone could suddenly stop all contact with a partner without any notice seemed like the peak of disrespect. How naive we were. In the 10 years since, navigating toward a significant other has only become more perplexing – an oftentimes pointless exercise in awkwardness that is increasingly shaped by online jargon.

Generation Z, a demographic who grew up during a loneliness epidemic, a masculinity reckoning, and a coordinated assault on the rights of females and the queer community, faces a significantly more chaotic landscape than their millennial forerunners could ever imagine. And so their dating vocabulary has grown longer and more bizarre, with terms like “Ogre-ing” and “monkey branching” straining the limits of your sanity.

What follows is a extensive glossary to the words Zoomers is using to navigate romance, intimacy and the search of both. To paraphrase one of the year’s most viral memes, by the end of this list you’ll ache to get back to God’s country – because where that is, it is free from “wokefishing”.

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A

Authenticity – According to gen Z, dating’s ultimate goal is presenting as your true, unvarnished self. You'll need it with that!

The Letter B

Bird theory – A social media test loosely based on a test developed by relationship scientists, in which you bring up something insignificant – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and pay attention to whether your partner’s reply is interested or brushed off. If they show no desire to hear more about the bird, you two are headed for splitsville.

Independent partner – Zoomers' rebuttal to the “quirky fantasy girl” stereotype of the early 2000s – but rather than having baby bangs, liking The Smiths and eschewing commitment, the mysterious partner puts herself first while oozing mystery and independence. (She could possibly have baby bangs.)

C

Support test – This signifies seeking out someone who supports you without being asked. If you entered a room, they would pull up a seat for you to take a load off.

Task-based bonding – A date where two people connect while doing chores, such as walking the dog or grocery shopping. In other words, how financially strained people in their 20s do budget-friendly dating in a post-“$5 beer and shot combo” world.

Melting down – Melting down when you feel burdened by life. You can crash out over a infatuation or split, dumping all of your (unrequited) feelings.

D

DINK – Dual income no kids. Once a symbol of 1980s young urban professional affluence, it describes pairs who forgo having children to focus on their own fulfillment. Or because they are unable to afford to become parents.

The Letter E

Open communication – The opposite of playing it cool: utilizing communication, honesty and openness.

F

Flags

• Danger signals – Behavioral quirks indicating a potential partner is bad news. Such as calling their former partners crazy, poor gratuity habits, a love of controversial director films, a new DJ career …
• Green flags – These actions affirm your decision to pursue a mate. For instance checking in to make sure you got home safe after a date, minimal screen time, owning a proper bed …
• Odd but harmless traits – These usually describe niche, largely inoffensive idiosyncrasies. Examples include being an enthusiastic ornithologist, still keeping a pen in their purse, paying rent in cash …

Shared obsession pairing – When you find someone who’s just as obsessive about films about the second world war or physical media hoarding or art or anything it may be, as you. Or, conversely, finding someone who despises the same things or people that you do (nothing creates intimacy faster than having a common enemy).

G

Geese – A musical group your gen Z boyfriend listens to.

Ghostlighting – Someone who resurfaces into your life after a length of ghosting.

Loyal boyfriend – Someone who is affable, eager to please and loyal. The uncommon partner who is liked by all of his partner’s friends, and a black cat girlfriend's foil.

Gooners – A mostly online community of men so obsessed with masturbation that they attempt marathon sessions, purposefully delaying orgasm so they can persist as long as possible.

The Letter H

Gloomy heterosexuality – A trend describing many women's increasing cynicism toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

High-value woman – An archetype touted by manosphere figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, ever-comforting and contentedly home-oriented, who apparently has no ambitions of her own aside from pleasing her male partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to see the whole “pessimism” thing better?

The Letter I

Icks – Random and usually everyday turnoffs that instantly extinguish any feelings of attraction.

“He would if he cared" – Something to remember after you watch someone else receive an incredibly sweet display.

The Letter J

Professions – These have not been this crucial in the romance landscape since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “finance bro” is the ideal partner: a fleece-vest-wearing, conservative-leaning guy who will be a provider (there’s a hit TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd opt for partners in professions they see as being staffed by the more nurturing among us: nurses, teachers or therapists.

The Letter K

Locking lips – This year, researchers learned that kissing has existed for 16m years. But the days of locking lips may be waning since some gen Z desire fewer intimate scenes in film, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find cinematic romance realistic.

Kittenfishing – Slight exaggeration. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) pictures of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your career sound more prestigious than it is. Also known as {